








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 221 | 22% |
| Smokes | 228 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 208 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 348 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,261 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Choke-King | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Xeno | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Regera | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Gà Rán KFC | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Regera | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Gà Rán KFC | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | cac | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | Hino | 8% | 12 |
| #8 | average valorant player | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gà Rán KFC | 10 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Choke-King | 3 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Regera | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Hino | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gà Rán KFC | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Regera | 94 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Choke-King | 31 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hino | 28 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gà Rán KFC | +2.47 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | average valorant player | +1.90 | 91 | 37 |
| #3 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | +1.47 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | Xeno | +0.14 | 56 | 45 |
| #5 | Choke-King | -0.20 | 74 | 55 |





