








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1043 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 938 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 879 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,861 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_420+pU$$1xl4y3ER_420_XxX | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | w33b | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | Choke-King | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Xeno | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | dead inside | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | Regera | 43% | 76 |
| #10 | cac | 36% | 22 |
| #11 | Hino | 27% | 26 |
| #12 | average valorant player | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regera | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | average valorant player | 4 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Choke-King | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Xeno | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regera | 261 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Xeno | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hino | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nanakusegg | 54 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | +2.47 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | xXx_420+pU$$1xl4y3ER_420_XxX | +1.80 | 75 | 52 |
| #3 | w33b | +1.75 | 83 | 50 |
| #4 | Choke-King | +1.31 | 71 | 36 |
| #5 | Gà Rán KFC | +1.05 | 66 | 48 |





