








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 397 | 23% |
| Smokes | 617 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 383 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 337 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,024 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regera | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Nanakusegg | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | cac | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | Xeno | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gà Rán KFC | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | dead inside | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | bubi | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Regera | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gà Rán KFC | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | cac | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | 96 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | bubi | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Regera | 56 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uiiiiiiiiaaaaooauuaiiiai | +1.48 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Choke-King | +1.36 | 71 | 30 |
| #3 | cac | +1.29 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | Gà Rán KFC | +0.77 | 68 | 49 |
| #5 | Regera | +0.42 | 61 | 59 |





