








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 35% |
| Smokes | 255 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 240 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 242 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,817 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cassius Thundercock | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | clanman8 | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | Toasted Tits | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | Abyss | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Vengenxe | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clanman8 | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Vengenxe | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Abyss | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | k00kyy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bones | +4.53 | 29 | 72 |
| #2 | k00kyy | +2.00 | 44 | 56 |
| #3 | Harry Sack | +1.83 | 58 | 51 |
| #4 | Vengenxe | -0.33 | 42 | 49 |
| #5 | clanman8 | -1.00 | 45 | 52 |





