








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 40 | 3% |
| Smokes | 196 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 317 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 592 | 52% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,683 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | surlaw | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | super ultra mega squirt | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Harry Sack | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Abyss | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Vengenxe | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Harry Sack | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Abyss | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Vengenxe | 46% | 46 |
| #6 | clanman8 | 45% | 55 |
| #7 | k00kyy | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clanman8 | 15 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Vengenxe | 13 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | super ultra mega squirt | 8 | 0.0272 |
| #4 | k00kyy | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Abyss | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clanman8 | 324 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | k00kyy | 229 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vengenxe | 219 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Abyss | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | super ultra mega squirt | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | surlaw | +6.06 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | k00kyy | +5.06 | 53 | 57 |
| #3 | Harry Sack | +3.41 | 51 | 45 |
| #4 | super ultra mega squirt | +0.95 | 44 | 36 |
| #5 | Vengenxe | +0.33 | 54 | 42 |





