








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1043 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 101 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 279 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,011 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cassius Thundercock | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | Harry Sack | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | Vengenxe | 39% | 66 |
| #4 | k00kyy | 38% | 135 |
| #5 | clanman8 | 34% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cassius Thundercock | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | Harry Sack | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | Vengenxe | 39% | 66 |
| #4 | k00kyy | 38% | 135 |
| #5 | clanman8 | 34% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vengenxe | 13 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | clanman8 | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | k00kyy | 8 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clanman8 | 491 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | k00kyy | 431 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Vengenxe | 216 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Harry Sack | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cassius Thundercock | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k00kyy | +3.85 | 51 | 60 |
| #2 | Vengenxe | +0.50 | 52 | 47 |
| #3 | Harry Sack | +0.17 | 64 | 39 |
| #4 | clanman8 | -0.93 | 39 | 52 |
| #5 | Abyss | -3.31 | 20 | 26 |





