








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 635 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1609 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1291 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1846 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,415,924 of utility $321 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misteryjunior | 55% | 189 |
| #2 | soft_pudding | 54% | 191 |
| #3 | Kujo | 54% | 196 |
| #4 | Canermarf | 52% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misteryjunior | 55% | 189 |
| #2 | soft_pudding | 54% | 191 |
| #3 | Kujo | 54% | 196 |
| #4 | Canermarf | 52% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kujo | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | soft_pudding | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | misteryjunior | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Canermarf | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kujo | 362 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | misteryjunior | 247 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Canermarf | 148 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | soft_pudding | 100 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kujo | +5.09 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | misteryjunior | +0.01 | 38 | 64 |
| #3 | soft_pudding | -0.49 | 52 | 48 |
| #4 | smoll_fly | -2.48 | 35 | 44 |
| #5 | Canermarf | -2.60 | 37 | 50 |





