








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1090 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 666 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5412 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7148 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3908 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5535 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,355,045 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Marsuu | 50% | 759 |
| #6 | Youngstar | 46% | 110 |
| #7 | captain block <3 | 46% | 257 |
| #8 | Jenu | 43% | 151 |
| #9 | Beegoz | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captain block <3 | 42 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Jusazz | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | KoreaDuper | 11 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Marsuu | 7 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Beegoz | 7 | 0.0042 |





