










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1213 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1197 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1134 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 991 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,271 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Marsuu | 46% | 90 |
| #6 | Jusazz | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | KoreaDuper | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | captain block <3 | 40% | 30 |
| #9 | Beegoz | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daryl | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Beegoz | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | KoreaDuper | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Marsuu | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | captain block <3 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beegoz | 142 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | captain block <3 | 121 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Daryl | 117 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | KoreaDuper | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jusazz | 43 | 0.16 | 2 min |





