








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 663 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 168 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1595 | 26% |
| Smokes | 669 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1730 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2177 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,242,467 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1715 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HASBULLA | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | oddjob | 48% | 69 |
| #3 | gra | 46% | 184 |
| #4 | h3nry | 45% | 75 |
| #5 | ope | 41% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | oddjob | 48% | 69 |
| #3 | gra | 46% | 184 |
| #4 | h3nry | 45% | 75 |
| #5 | ope | 41% | 140 |
| #6 | rae | 41% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gra | 28 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | rae | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ope | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | oddjob | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | h3nry | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gra | 413 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | ope | 401 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | rae | 294 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | h3nry | 200 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | oddjob | 193 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3nry | +2.68 | 72 | 46 |
| #2 | oddjob | +2.44 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | gra | +2.17 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | ope | +1.79 | 77 | 46 |
| #5 | HASBULLA | +0.42 | 47 | 68 |





