








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4527 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6546 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7677 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5446 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4137 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $535,833 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaLoS | 46% | 257 |
| #2 | Negev Andy | 45% | 303 |
| #3 | Hart | 45% | 110 |
| #4 | MurDok101 | 42% | 255 |
| #5 | Spengler | 40% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaLoS | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Spengler | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | KuierDier | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Hart | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Negev Andy | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negev Andy | 876 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | Hart | 339 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | VaLoS | 325 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | Spengler | 311 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | MurDok101 | 219 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yungbow | +2.98 | 41 | 60 |
| #2 | VaLoS | +2.13 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | Hart | +0.42 | 27 | 54 |
| #4 | MAD-KILLza | -0.92 | 23 | 29 |
| #5 | Spengler | -2.26 | 33 | 30 |





