








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 837 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1390 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 719 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1274 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $47,748 of utility $7 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaLoS | 46% | 182 |
| #2 | Negev Andy | 43% | 210 |
| #3 | Yungbow | 42% | 255 |
| #4 | Hart | 39% | 61 |
| #5 | KuierDier | 37% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yungbow | 28 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | VaLoS | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Spengler | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Hart | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Negev Andy | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yungbow | 1301 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Negev Andy | 565 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hart | 226 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | VaLoS | 214 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | KuierDier | 169 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yungbow | +3.27 | 41 | 60 |
| #2 | VaLoS | +3.09 | 64 | 45 |
| #3 | Hart | +1.36 | 23 | 56 |
| #4 | MAD-KILLza | -1.00 | 20 | 28 |
| #5 | Spengler | -2.12 | 29 | 29 |





