








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 196 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1165 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2679 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2469 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1615 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,674,489 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negev Andy | 51% | 193 |
| #2 | Hart | 48% | 82 |
| #3 | MurDok101 | 46% | 182 |
| #4 | Yungbow | 46% | 257 |
| #5 | Spengler | 46% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MurDok101 | 46% | 182 |
| #4 | Yungbow | 46% | 257 |
| #5 | Spengler | 46% | 105 |
| #6 | KuierDier | 43% | 75 |
| #7 | MAD-KILLza | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yungbow | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | MurDok101 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Hart | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Spengler | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Negev Andy | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yungbow | 1296 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #2 | Negev Andy | 668 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Hart | 264 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Spengler | 225 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | MurDok101 | 176 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yungbow | +2.51 | 41 | 61 |
| #2 | VaLoS | +2.24 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | Hart | +0.28 | 26 | 51 |
| #4 | MAD-KILLza | -1.83 | 26 | 19 |
| #5 | Spengler | -2.32 | 31 | 32 |





