








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2201 | 12% |
| Smokes | 6309 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4037 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5937 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,081,774 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | QuaLiTi06 | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | MakiattoSihaya | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ROGRekles | 3 | 0.0029 |





