










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 181 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 251 | 12% |
| Smokes | 487 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 964 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 411 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,140 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Pewski™ | 36% | 33 |
| #11 | selenahh6 | 32% | 19 |
| #12 | niecydee | 24% | 38 |
| #13 | MiniMelodia1 | 21% | 14 |
| #14 | Swordlink | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | パパ | 146 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tilted | 139 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | RicFlairw000 | 84 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | SleeMcDee | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | selenahh6 | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |





