








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7384 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6532 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6673 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5664 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,661,226 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuskamukunen | 51% | 78 |
| #2 | TestoDwarf | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | viiksi (blameF fanboy) | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Puuhis | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | Tommey | 45% | 67 |





