








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 441 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3568 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3308 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2980 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3142 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,119 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosyonnA | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Berry | 51% | 84 |
| #3 | Tarzan | 51% | 274 |
| #4 | Freelogen | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Bun | 46% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Freelogen | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Bun | 46% | 149 |
| #6 | Prince of Samoa | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | Bloody Karma | 44% | 48 |
| #8 | Sinnak | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarzan | 28 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Prince of Samoa | 22 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Bloody Karma | 12 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Bun | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Freelogen | 9 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarzan | 1489 | 0.28 | 35 min |
| #2 | Prince of Samoa | 398 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | Freelogen | 159 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Berry | 117 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bun | 91 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prince of Samoa | +3.13 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Bun | +1.81 | 88 | 45 |
| #3 | Freelogen | +1.76 | 87 | 50 |
| #4 | Berry | +1.68 | 76 | 48 |
| #5 | Bloody Karma | +1.57 | 78 | 49 |





