








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2386 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1934 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,365 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowWWWWWWWWWWW | 46% | 93 |
| #2 | Wimzz | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Mao Zedong | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | RiFF RAFF - $ | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowWWWWWWWWWWW | 46% | 93 |
| #2 | Wimzz | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Mao Zedong | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | RiFF RAFF - $ | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowWWWWWWWWWWW | 22 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Wimzz | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | RiFF RAFF - $ | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wimzz | 157 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #2 | RiFF RAFF - $ | 94 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | meowWWWWWWWWWWW | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mao Zedong | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paparonalds | +1.76 | 61 | 41 |
| #2 | RiFF RAFF - $ | +1.49 | 74 | 72 |
| #3 | Mao Zedong | -1.49 | 41 | 68 |
| #4 | meowWWWWWWWWWWW | -2.11 | 46 | 31 |
| #5 | Wimzz | -3.73 | 40 | 58 |





