








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 949 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6561 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4706 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5904 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5443 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,411,939 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | خالد الكشميري | 53% | 346 |
| #8 | Minister | 50% | 151 |
| #9 | Buttsex | 50% | 177 |
| #10 | Agents14 | 47% | 53 |
| #11 | .!. | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buttsex | 31 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | خالد الكشميري | 29 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | GR1Z | 22 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Bemon | 20 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Minister | 16 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | خالد الكشميري | 1187 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | GR1Z | 788 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #3 | Bemon | 664 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | Buttsex | 652 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #5 | caliojack | 302 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | subaarx | +2.42 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Coco_ | +1.75 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | caliojack | +1.72 | 65 | 65 |
| #4 | GR1Z | +0.62 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | Pirdis Durnis | +0.23 | 63 | 71 |





