








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5175 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4222 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5841 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5665 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,671 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coco_ | 61% | 103 |
| #2 | Pirdis Durnis | 56% | 88 |
| #3 | caliojack | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | GR1Z | 55% | 149 |
| #5 | Buttsex | 55% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | subaarx | 946 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | GR1Z | 857 | 0.28 | 19 min |
| #3 | Bemon | 640 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | Minister | 354 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Buttsex | 308 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caliojack | +2.85 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | subaarx | +2.37 | 88 | 71 |
| #3 | Coco_ | +1.93 | 89 | 62 |
| #4 | GR1Z | +1.06 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | خالد الكشميري | +0.11 | 77 | 68 |





