








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 486 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1367 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 954 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,209 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O-o----BLooD | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | dumb | 47% | 81 |
| #3 | ♦ REAPER ♦ | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Sgt. Beeblebroxs | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | O-o----BLooD v2 | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♦ REAPER ♦ | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Sgt. Beeblebroxs | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | O-o----BLooD v2 | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | ZEAL | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | Bullet | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dumb | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Bullet | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Sgt. Beeblebroxs | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ♦ REAPER ♦ | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dumb | 252 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | O-o----BLooD v2 | 96 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sgt. Beeblebroxs | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | O-o----BLooD | 24 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bullet | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O-o----BLooD | +6.45 | 63 | 79 |
| #2 | O-o----BLooD v2 | +4.17 | 53 | 69 |
| #3 | Bullet | +1.92 | 53 | 64 |
| #4 | Sgt. Beeblebroxs | -0.19 | 41 | 70 |
| #5 | dumb | -2.10 | 49 | 56 |





