








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 415 | 26% |
| Smokes | 374 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 376 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,796 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akkedis | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | O-o----BLooD | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | dumb | 41% | 39 |
| #4 | O-o----BLooD v2 | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | Col | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Col | 35% | 48 |
| #6 | HA. | 33% | 39 |
| #7 | I Hear FOKKOL | 29% | 35 |
| #8 | Wendigo | 27% | 60 |
| #9 | Marlboro | 9% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Hear FOKKOL | 11 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | HA. | 10 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Col | 7 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Marlboro | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Wendigo | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Col | 190 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Wendigo | 159 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | dumb | 123 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | HA. | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | O-o----BLooD | 95 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HA. | +5.50 | 92 | 61 |
| #2 | O-o----BLooD | +4.73 | 62 | 79 |
| #3 | I Hear FOKKOL | +4.72 | 91 | 60 |
| #4 | O-o----BLooD v2 | +3.49 | 47 | 75 |
| #5 | Col | +1.68 | 62 | 55 |





