








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 973 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12974 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7358 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7428 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7434 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,996,056 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1075 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ferbigott | 67% | 145 |
| #2 | itami | 62% | 78 |
| #3 | itami | 58% | 287 |
| #4 | Kirai | 57% | 125 |
| #5 | woracori | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kirai | 57% | 125 |
| #5 | woracori | 52% | 61 |
| #6 | akkedis | 47% | 81 |
| #7 | O-o----BLooD v2 | 46% | 71 |
| #8 | Drasticツ | 43% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirai | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | itami | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Ferbigott | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Drasticツ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | akkedis | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itami | 1652 | 0.27 | 41 min |
| #2 | Drasticツ | 469 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ferbigott | 396 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | itami | 370 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | O-o----BLooD v2 | 250 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itami | +3.63 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | O-o----BLooD v2 | +3.26 | 54 | 72 |
| #3 | itami | +3.17 | 86 | 56 |
| #4 | Ferbigott | +2.62 | 84 | 61 |
| #5 | Kirai | +1.97 | 71 | 58 |





