








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 847 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 626 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4516 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7714 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5177 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6372 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,031,701 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | scabsmagooby | 48% | 204 |
| #10 | JakeyPoo | 46% | 192 |
| #11 | Mad_Orange | 44% | 80 |
| #12 | FGR Osama bin Squirtin | 42% | 52 |
| #13 | V01D_SP4CE | 42% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoreDonut | 26 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | 样品 | 18 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Cammie | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | JakeyPoo | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | V01D_SP4CE | 11 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoreDonut | 532 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | JakeyPoo | 386 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cammie | 344 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kels | 311 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | V01D_SP4CE | 192 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cammie | +2.01 | 80 | 49 |
| #2 | Kels | +1.31 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | JakeyPoo | +1.13 | 65 | 52 |
| #4 | 样品 | +1.03 | 74 | 52 |
| #5 | CoreDonut | +0.42 | 68 | 57 |





