








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 284 | 46% |
| Smokes | 116 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 175 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 44 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,886 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | artur | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Kniff | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | fih💔 | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | Sir Nathaniel B The Third Jr. | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Booty Consumer | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kniff | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | fih💔 | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | Sir Nathaniel B The Third Jr. | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Booty Consumer | 44% | 41 |
| #6 | Hot Chip Eater | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booty Consumer | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Hot Chip Eater | 5 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Sir Nathaniel B The Third Jr. | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | artur | 2 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Kniff | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booty Consumer | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | fih💔 | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sir Nathaniel B The Third Jr. | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hot Chip Eater | 28 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | artur | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booty Consumer | +4.65 | 61 | 56 |
| #2 | Kniff | +1.47 | 42 | 47 |
| #3 | fih💔 | +1.22 | 55 | 41 |
| #4 | raimond4003 | -1.38 | 54 | 40 |
| #5 | Sir Nathaniel B The Third Jr. | -1.54 | 31 | 50 |





