








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1093 | 26% |
| Smokes | 847 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 852 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,040 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CliffE | 63% | 32 |
| #8 | Raidan | 60% | 124 |
| #9 | RUTHLESS | 60% | 144 |
| #10 | Solo Q | 59% | 174 |
| #11 | SecretNep | 57% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raidan | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Solo Q | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | SecretNep | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | SHUU | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | RUTHLESS | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raidan | 318 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | MOJO | 297 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | SecretNep | 231 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Solo Q | 202 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | RUTHLESS | 194 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bait | +4.01 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | Raidan | +3.24 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Kalifa | +2.54 | 79 | 77 |
| #4 | tridiumson | +2.09 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | SecretNep | +1.54 | 75 | 57 |





