








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1567 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1817 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1723 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,420 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RMB | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | seak | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | b1z | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Krydex | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | k1n | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Plohx | 50% | 32 |
| #7 | yeah dude | 48% | 63 |
| #8 | D3troX | 47% | 53 |
| #9 | Kolpzz/Miko | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | sesam1us | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesam1us | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | yeah dude | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | D3troX | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeah dude | 308 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | sesam1us | 202 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | D3troX | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | k1n | 79 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Plohx | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1z | +2.35 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | Davvid- | +1.64 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | seak | +1.08 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | sesam1us | +0.85 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Kolpzz/Miko | +0.60 | 77 | 73 |





