








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1795 | 36% |
| Smokes | 781 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1425 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,269 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [EXDr]Mironkel | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | 3yold | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | Sour | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | aines rops | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Henno | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sour | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | aines rops | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Henno | 32% | 25 |
| #6 | Insane | 27% | 11 |
| #7 | TIGER | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3yold | 12 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | [EXDr]Mironkel | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | aines rops | 5 | 0.0190 |
| #4 | Sour | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Henno | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3yold | 206 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sour | 176 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | [EXDr]Mironkel | 109 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Henno | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | TIGER | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TIGER | +4.47 | 39 | 33 |
| #2 | aines rops | +1.77 | 58 | 49 |
| #3 | 3yold | +1.46 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | K3nnuke | -0.02 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | [EXDr]Mironkel | -0.29 | 56 | 74 |





