








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3441 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1795 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1016 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2013 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $488,347 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑪𝒖𝒎𝒃 | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | BrcTylerr | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Taco | 46% | 155 |
| #4 | ZSC | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑪𝒖𝒎𝒃 | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | BrcTylerr | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Taco | 46% | 155 |
| #4 | ZSC | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taco | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | BrcTylerr | 11 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | 𝑪𝒖𝒎𝒃 | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ZSC | 3 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taco | 236 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | BrcTylerr | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | 𝑪𝒖𝒎𝒃 | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ZSC | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZSC | +3.10 | 86 | 39 |
| #2 | 𝑪𝒖𝒎𝒃 | +1.84 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | Shome | +0.72 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Taco | -0.73 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | BrcTylerr | -1.15 | 65 | 60 |





