








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 864 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




195 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 527 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2144 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3395 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3363 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,390,317 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dyo | 61% | 62 |
| #2 | glad.buffalo | 54% | 106 |
| #3 | pummer | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | Hazard_Creek | 49% | 344 |
| #5 | Eggwuh | 46% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | glad.buffalo | 54% | 106 |
| #3 | pummer | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | Hazard_Creek | 49% | 344 |
| #5 | Eggwuh | 46% | 117 |
| #6 | dorko | 39% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazard_Creek | 198 | 0.0301 |
| #2 | glad.buffalo | 77 | 0.0371 |
| #3 | pummer | 71 | 0.0224 |
| #4 | Eggwuh | 30 | 0.0135 |
| #5 | Dyo | 9 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pummer | 707 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Eggwuh | 416 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | glad.buffalo | 224 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hazard_Creek | 175 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | dorko | 93 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pummer | +5.17 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Dyo | +3.17 | 68 | 34 |
| #3 | prime weed | +1.77 | 79 | 38 |
| #4 | glad.buffalo | +1.32 | 84 | 69 |
| #5 | Eggwuh | -0.66 | 73 | 48 |





