








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 421 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




365 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1122 | 34% |
| Smokes | 693 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 925 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,867 of utility $9 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 783 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekki | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | bongo | 50% | 68 |
| #3 | Dyo | 50% | 140 |
| #4 | prime weed | 49% | 344 |
| #5 | Eggwuh | 44% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | prime weed | 49% | 344 |
| #5 | Eggwuh | 44% | 185 |
| #6 | pummer | 43% | 232 |
| #7 | glad.buffalo | 43% | 138 |
| #8 | dorko | 41% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prime weed | 162 | 0.0246 |
| #2 | glad.buffalo | 95 | 0.0356 |
| #3 | pummer | 91 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | Eggwuh | 69 | 0.0194 |
| #5 | Dyo | 29 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pummer | 982 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | Eggwuh | 634 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | glad.buffalo | 262 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | bongo | 130 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | prime weed | 128 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekki | +6.49 | 88 | 31 |
| #2 | pummer | +5.17 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | bongo | +3.24 | 60 | 44 |
| #4 | Dyo | +3.04 | 62 | 34 |
| #5 | prime weed | +1.91 | 81 | 38 |





