








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 717 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7524 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8513 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5194 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3031 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,064,962 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodFatherrr | 51% | 534 |
| #2 | Guten-tag Leute! | 49% | 280 |
| #3 | InSurge | 46% | 102 |
| #4 | FiReFoXqB | 46% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodFatherrr | 51% | 534 |
| #2 | Guten-tag Leute! | 49% | 280 |
| #3 | InSurge | 46% | 102 |
| #4 | FiReFoXqB | 46% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodFatherrr | 25 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Guten-tag Leute! | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | FiReFoXqB | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | InSurge | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodFatherrr | 768 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | Guten-tag Leute! | 492 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | FiReFoXqB | 328 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | InSurge | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toffu | +1.33 | 58 | 66 |
| #2 | GodFatherrr | -0.08 | 55 | 65 |
| #3 | FiReFoXqB | -0.08 | 52 | 57 |
| #4 | InSurge | -0.94 | 74 | 34 |
| #5 | Guten-tag Leute! | -2.23 | 21 | 41 |





