








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 542 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4197 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6857 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4149 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5715 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,476,487 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guten-tag Leute! | 53% | 266 |
| #2 | Toffu | 51% | 534 |
| #3 | FiReFoXqB | 47% | 138 |
| #4 | InSurge | 47% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guten-tag Leute! | 53% | 266 |
| #2 | Toffu | 51% | 534 |
| #3 | FiReFoXqB | 47% | 138 |
| #4 | InSurge | 47% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toffu | 40 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Guten-tag Leute! | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | FiReFoXqB | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | InSurge | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toffu | 1569 | 0.14 | 44 min |
| #2 | Guten-tag Leute! | 505 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | FiReFoXqB | 303 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | InSurge | 48 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toffu | +1.47 | 59 | 65 |
| #2 | FiReFoXqB | +0.06 | 51 | 58 |
| #3 | GodFatherrr | -0.07 | 55 | 64 |
| #4 | InSurge | -0.51 | 76 | 35 |
| #5 | Guten-tag Leute! | -2.28 | 19 | 42 |





