








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1235 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2374 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2562 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2282 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,602,651 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted Yoshi | 52% | 88 |
| #2 | Spicy | 46% | 96 |
| #3 | Kanye | 44% | 123 |
| #4 | DiamondMiner47 | 41% | 56 |
| #5 | golden | 37% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spicy | 46% | 96 |
| #3 | Kanye | 44% | 123 |
| #4 | DiamondMiner47 | 41% | 56 |
| #5 | golden | 37% | 89 |
| #6 | dullerthread' | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | golden | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | DiamondMiner47 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Ted Yoshi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Spicy | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye | 378 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | golden | 127 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spicy | 92 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ted Yoshi | 76 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | dullerthread' | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted Yoshi | +4.08 | 73 | 48 |
| #2 | Spicy | +2.64 | 69 | 50 |
| #3 | golden | +1.13 | 53 | 42 |
| #4 | Kanye | +0.96 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | dullerthread' | +0.00 | 56 | 49 |





