








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 702 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4087 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4719 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5110 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3889 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,763,889 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 771 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #FreeDraymond | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | BRFJ | 52% | 93 |
| #3 | LeCrack | 49% | 252 |
| #4 | If looks could kill | 49% | 94 |
| #5 | Spicy | 47% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ye | 34 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | LeCrack | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Prossh | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | If looks could kill | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | #FreeDraymond | 7 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ye | 1270 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | LeCrack | 517 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | #FreeDraymond | 295 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #4 | Spicy | 294 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | If looks could kill | 221 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #FreeDraymond | +3.78 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | BRFJ | +1.83 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | ted was right | +1.26 | 65 | 47 |
| #4 | LeCrack | +1.25 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | golden | +0.90 | 59 | 52 |





