










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1141 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1767 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1624 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,840,155 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tessi🌸 | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | ⁹ ᴷᴵᴷᴵ | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Trainer | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Lance | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | ♕Freddy✪|Bratwurstbratgerät | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tessi🌸 | +5.40 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | ᵒᵍ | +3.95 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | Mockiii | +2.81 | 93 | 49 |
| #4 | ๋ | +2.67 | 86 | 74 |
| #5 | Lance | +1.08 | 77 | 71 |





