








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1402 | 41% |
| Smokes | 745 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 609 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,863 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popayoe23cm | 8 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | erchuchescocaine | 7 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | JohnnieCokein | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Real No Sound! #Pitopaentro<3 | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Jett™ | 3 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnnieCokein | 216 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | erchuchescocaine | 94 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Player | 85 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Real No Sound! #Pitopaentro<3 | 82 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Popayoe23cm | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |





