








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1389 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




195 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 78,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22252 | 28% |
| Smokes | 20726 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 17131 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 18429 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,171,867 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1763 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnnieCokein | 53% | 95 |
| #2 | Popayoe23cm | 48% | 820 |
| #3 | Francheska | 46% | 254 |
| #4 | madarii | 46% | 221 |
| #5 | Nerviozzo | 44% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popayoe23cm | 76 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | erchuchescocaine | 32 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | JohnnieCokein | 21 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Francheska | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | madarii | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popayoe23cm | 1810 | 0.10 | 42 min |
| #2 | Francheska | 618 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | erchuchescocaine | 467 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | JohnnieCokein | 450 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nerviozzo | 379 | 0.10 | 10 min |





