










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1083 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1433 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1723 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1866 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1622 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,611 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiz | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | JOLLY | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | roniin | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Mark Noble | 53% | 129 |
| #5 | 350z Enjoyer | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | roniin | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Mark Noble | 53% | 129 |
| #5 | 350z Enjoyer | 50% | 30 |
| #6 | whzd | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Michail Antonio | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark Noble | 21 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Michail Antonio | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | 350z Enjoyer | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Whiz | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | roniin | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark Noble | 209 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | whzd | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Whiz | 69 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | 350z Enjoyer | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | JOLLY | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whzd | +4.24 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Whiz | +2.89 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | ME | +2.47 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | roniin | +1.87 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | JOLLY | +0.74 | 68 | 56 |





