








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1493 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1872 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1901 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,587 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Callum | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Whiz | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | ME | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Gadd | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | whzd | 50% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | whzd | 50% | 214 |
| #6 | Kiwi | 47% | 43 |
| #7 | Mark Noble | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | 350z Enjoyer | 46% | 103 |
| #9 | Stephen | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 350z Enjoyer | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | whzd | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Kiwi | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Mark Noble | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whzd | 739 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | 350z Enjoyer | 238 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kiwi | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Whiz | 83 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | ME | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiz | +3.23 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | whzd | +2.63 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Callum | +1.09 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | ME | +0.82 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | JOLLY | +0.48 | 78 | 57 |





