










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 32% |
| Smokes | 518 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 518 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 511 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,827 of utility $271 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOLLY | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | ME | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | 350z Enjoyer | 59% | 66 |
| #4 | Mark Noble | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Kiwi | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOLLY | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | ME | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | 350z Enjoyer | 59% | 66 |
| #4 | Mark Noble | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Kiwi | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 350z Enjoyer | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Kiwi | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Mark Noble | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | JOLLY | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 350z Enjoyer | 158 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kiwi | 89 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | JOLLY | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ME | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mark Noble | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiz | +4.99 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | JOLLY | +1.23 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | ME | +0.84 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | Kiwi | -0.51 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Mark Noble | -1.22 | 60 | 56 |





