








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 552 | 39% |
| Smokes | 201 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 487 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 193 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,730 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperion | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Ajsallstars | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | melvin | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | c0ca | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | LpéMaa | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LpéMaa | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | Elixir | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | Dwcollier | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Bosstemperz11 | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Frost | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melvin | 9 | 0.0364 |
| #2 | Ajsallstars | 7 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Elixir | 6 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | LpéMaa | 3 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | c0ca | 2 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | melvin | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | c0ca | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ajsallstars | 33 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | LpéMaa | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperion | +4.09 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | LpéMaa | +2.94 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | Bosstemperz11 | +1.86 | 77 | 32 |
| #4 | Elixir | +1.06 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | Ajsallstars | +0.58 | 49 | 25 |





