








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 882 | 28% |
| Smokes | 689 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 912 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 615 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,657 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | th3rager21 | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | JimmyBurger43 | 62% | 58 |
| #3 | Reverend B. Gillis | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | WorkHorse1981 | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | pews | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pews | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | tmay | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Munchez | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | manitooke | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Zloth | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyBurger43 | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | pews | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Zloth | 4 | 0.0317 |
| #4 | WorkHorse1981 | 3 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | th3rager21 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyBurger43 | 196 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | pews | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | th3rager21 | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | tmay | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Munchez | 15 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | th3rager21 | +3.00 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | WorkHorse1981 | +2.23 | 70 | 9 |
| #3 | pews | +1.99 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | John Weak | +1.96 | 76 | 50 |
| #5 | manitooke | -0.39 | 73 | 44 |





