








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 726 | 23% |
| Smokes | 495 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 887 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1001 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $889,614 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | proteus | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | John Weak | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | pews | 55% | 148 |
| #4 | th3rager21 | 52% | 225 |
| #5 | Icey | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pews | 32 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | WorkHorse1981 | 30 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | th3rager21 | 29 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Icey | 9 | 0.0209 |
| #5 | JimmyBurger43 | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pews | 425 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | th3rager21 | 338 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | JimmyBurger43 | 206 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Munchez | 169 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | WorkHorse1981 | 126 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | th3rager21 | +3.55 | 86 | 54 |
| #2 | John Weak | +3.33 | 76 | 41 |
| #3 | pews | +3.08 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | Kww | +3.02 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | proteus | +2.89 | 86 | 44 |





