








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 16% |
| Smokes | 367 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 396 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 181 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,969 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MrWolf | 50% | 54 |
| #3 | Ruth krutt | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Park | 37% | 163 |
| #5 | Widerøe Flyveselskap AS | 33% | 69 |
| #6 | Snusken | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Widerøe Flyveselskap AS | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Park | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Ruth krutt | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | MrWolf | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Park | 276 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | MrWolf | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Widerøe Flyveselskap AS | 75 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ruth krutt | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Snusken | 25 | 0.12 | 1 min |





