








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 14% |
| Smokes | 444 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1031 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 819 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,308 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D SOOST | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | AU DD | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Meier Matze | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | I am the liquor | 42% | 83 |
| #5 | Kian | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | definitely not FeSiAs | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | I am the liquor | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Meier Matze | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Don.. | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | naive | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am the liquor | 108 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Don.. | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | D SOOST | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | naive | 53 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Meier Matze | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don.. | +4.19 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | $aul | +2.19 | 57 | 50 |
| #3 | D SOOST | +1.64 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | z | +1.17 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | definitely not FeSiAs | +0.29 | 66 | 44 |





