








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Jura | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2939 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5084 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3175 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1751 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,520 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $aul | 56% | 208 |
| #2 | definitely not FeSiAs | 56% | 219 |
| #3 | Kian | 55% | 117 |
| #4 | Ricarda Lang mit Bier in Hand | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | naive | 50% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ricarda Lang mit Bier in Hand | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | naive | 50% | 122 |
| #6 | D SOOST | 49% | 114 |
| #7 | I am the liquor | 49% | 84 |
| #8 | Calcifer | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | definitely not FeSiAs | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | $aul | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Ricarda Lang mit Bier in Hand | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | naive | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | D SOOST | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $aul | 372 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kian | 320 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | naive | 304 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | D SOOST | 286 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | definitely not FeSiAs | 218 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don.. | +4.24 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | $aul | +1.91 | 64 | 55 |
| #3 | definitely not FeSiAs | +0.23 | 73 | 37 |
| #4 | D SOOST | +0.01 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | Kian | -1.07 | 71 | 51 |





