








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1593 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2322 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2489 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2029 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,039 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricarda Lang mit Bier in Hand | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | $aul | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | definitely not FeSiAs | 51% | 106 |
| #4 | Don.. | 50% | 122 |
| #5 | I am the liquor | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Don.. | 50% | 122 |
| #5 | I am the liquor | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Kian | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | D SOOST | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | Calcifer | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | definitely not FeSiAs | 11 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Don.. | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | D SOOST | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | $aul | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Calcifer | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don.. | 185 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | $aul | 134 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kian | 114 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | definitely not FeSiAs | 92 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | D SOOST | 87 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don.. | +3.90 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | $aul | +2.93 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | definitely not FeSiAs | -0.24 | 72 | 42 |
| #4 | naive | -1.33 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | D SOOST | -1.61 | 75 | 57 |





