








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2254 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1854 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2310 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2747 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,377 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 496 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 不眠症 | 56% | 130 |
| #2 | Crack | 51% | 94 |
| #3 | Dregos | 51% | 189 |
| #4 | DerAlsimi | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | Nosselars | 49% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 不眠症 | 56% | 130 |
| #2 | Crack | 51% | 94 |
| #3 | Dregos | 51% | 189 |
| #4 | DerAlsimi | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | Nosselars | 49% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dregos | 60 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Crack | 29 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Nosselars | 27 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | 不眠症 | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | DerAlsimi | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dregos | 953 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | Nosselars | 446 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Crack | 216 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | DerAlsimi | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | 不眠症 | 108 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z1mble_ | +1.97 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | Nosselars | +1.74 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | Crack | +1.01 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | 不眠症 | +0.37 | 75 | 43 |
| #5 | Dregos | -0.01 | 80 | 38 |





