








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3282 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1584 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2192 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2236 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,598 of utility $15 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dregos | 51% | 125 |
| #2 | Z1mble_ | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | Dracula | 47% | 62 |
| #4 | geolierR- | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Nosselars | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Z1mble_ | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | Dracula | 47% | 62 |
| #4 | geolierR- | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Nosselars | 42% | 52 |
| #6 | 不眠症 | 40% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dregos | 37 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | 不眠症 | 23 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Z1mble_ | 17 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Dracula | 13 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Nosselars | 11 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dregos | 684 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nosselars | 180 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | geolierR- | 138 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #4 | Z1mble_ | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dracula | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracula | +7.04 | 91 | 44 |
| #2 | Z1mble_ | +2.92 | 89 | 50 |
| #3 | Nosselars | +2.84 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | geolierR- | +2.04 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | Dregos | +1.56 | 84 | 41 |





